NEVER AGAIN! 05/20/12
Whether it was drink, drugs or even food, how many times have you vowed ‘Never again!’ after you’ve overindulged? And how many times have you gone and done it again? In fact if you don’t want to repeat something, the last thing you should say is ‘Never again!’
Here’s 5 reasons why:
1. You are setting yourself up to fail – Saying ‘never’ about anything is totally unrealistic and so you’re more likely to give in, if what you’re setting out to do is unachievable from the outset. Get real! Set yourself progressive goals that will help you reach your aim whether that is limiting your intake or abstaining altogether.
2. The more times you tell yourself ‘Never again’, the more guilty and ashamed you feel when you do. This could well lead you to overindulge again and perhaps even worse than previously.
3. You have no control over the future. No matter how determined you are to keep to your word and not replicate the same behaviour, you don’t know what could happen to you next week, month, or year.
4. By telling others that you will never do something again, you are making a commitment you are unlikely to be able to keep. Not only are you going to let yourself down but those people you’ve promised are also going to be let down too. That in turn is going to damage their ability to trust you in the future and it can destroy their willingness to trust others too.
5. If it was as easy as saying ‘Never again’, addictions would not exist. Learn from those who know not to make impractical and idealistic undertakings. They know that addictions are not controlled by will power and have recognised the importance of taking a day at a time.
I have no idea how many times I declared to myself, friends and colleagues that I would cut back or stop drinking altogether. When I vowed ‘Never again’ I genuinely wanted it to be true. Yet until I was able to recognise that I was an addict and seek help there was no way I was going to be able to not drink.
Today I don’t make rash promises about tomorrow. Even after thirteen years of sobriety I wouldn’t say I’d never drink again. Recovery means that I focus on each day as it comes and deal with whatever comes my way in a sober, positive and realistic way.