STOP BUYING IT! 05/14/12
No self-control, no will-power. That’s how many people think when they describe addicts, together with the idea that drug and drink problems would be solved if only people stopped buying it.
If only it were that simple!
I didn’t choose to be an alcoholic. No one does. When I first started to drink it was to self medicate. Alcohol numbed the nightmare of my childhood and helped me deal with the daily hell of my life as a teenager. Even in those early days, I don’t think I could have given up even if I had wanted to. But as my dependency and tolerance to drink increased there was no way I could manage to overcome my addiction through will-power alone.
The more alcohol progressively impacted on every aspect of my life, the more I worried about it. I knew that I shouldn’t have been drinking every day, I knew that it was costing me a fortune, I knew that it was harming my health, I knew that it was affecting my work and I knew it was causing problems in relationships.
The problem was that matter how aware I was of the damage it was doing, I didn’t understand that I was an addict and so any attempt at controlling my drinking was inevitably going to fail. Once a person is physically and psychologically addicted, the substance becomes as necessary to life as the air that we breathe. I couldn’t live without a drink.
Yet for those who were witnessing me self destruct through addiction, it was obvious what I needed to do. I just needed to come to my senses and stop it. What no one appreciated was how much I had tried through will-power to cut back and quit. Nothing had worked, I had no idea what could cure me and I was terrified.
In desperation I went to my GP who referred me for a seven day in-patient detox but without the medication I started to crave as soon as I returned home. A community nurse visited and I sought her advice on how I could beat the battle of the booze. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Just don’t buy it!”
Hopefully today there is more awareness of addiction within the health professions as well as society as a whole. Yet many misconceptions do still exist about alcoholics or drug users that enforce the idea that individuals somehow choose their lifestyle and the consequences. Addiction is so much more complicated than that.
Of course once an addict has admitted they have a problem, received appropriate treatment and started a journey of supported recovery, then self control does have a part to play. But it’s only then they have the choice to say “Today I’m not going to buy it!”
bluetufty
After a 20 year battle with the booze I am now proud to be 13 years sober. Living life as I was meant to be and hoping to inspire others. Freelance writer originally from London now living in N.Ireland.
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24 Responses to this article
Oh my gosh this post hit home! Not only am I an alcoholic but I have issues with food addiction too (and a few other addictions) and with both the alcohol & food people always tell me it’s all about making myself have self-control and will power! Really? How can people think it’s that easy? If it were I wouldn’t be in the situation(s) I’m in with addiction. Sometimes I wish I could just slap people upside the head when they say stupid stuff like this to me! lol
I’m so glad this hit home for you! It’s tough enough to manage one addiction but if you’re dealing with several it is so much harder especially when people think you can control it through will power.
You’re right that people say stupid stuff like this because they simply don’t understand addictions or the power of cravings.
Wish you all the best Ginger in overcoming your difficulties. You can do it!
If it was as simple as willpower we’d all be millionaire supermodels with no issues
. Thank you for sharing your personal story, your transparency and compassion is beautiful and I’m sure helps so many people.
Thanks for your lovely comments Ruth. It doesn’t matter what issues we have, simple will power isn’t going to fix it – if only those who aren’t dealing with those issues could understand that!
Thank you for sharing your story. I love your willingness to be open and honest. It speaks volumes about who you are as a person.
Congratulations on your recovey and life today ! I spent years dealing with food addiction as an emotional eater. Will power is only a small part of the puzzle to recovery.
Blessings Always
Thanks Terressa for your encouraging comments. I think that food addictions are possibly the toughest because once you’re in recovery it is possible to live without drink or drugs, but everyone has to eat!
Wishing you continued success in your journey.
It wasn’t until I lived with an addict that I started to understand that it wasn’t just a matter of will power. At first I’d say, “But he’s so smart, why can’t he just get it under control?” While we’re all addicted to something, substance abuse is a totally different ‘beast.’ I honor the journey you’ve taken, to be where you are today.
Thank you so much for your kindness Sharon! Unless you have experience of an addict it is baffling as to why someone just can’t stop. It isn’t a matter of self control or lack of intelligence.
Thankfully addiction can be treated and sobriety can be the key to a fantastic and fulfilled life!
How right you are! It hasn’t been until the past few years that I have grown to somewhat understand addictions and the behavior of addicts. Through alanon, I have come to appreciate what true recovery looks like. Not just for the addict, but for the whole family. Bless you for sharing your story.
Martha Thank you! You are so right to point out that it is a family disease and that every one is affected. It is such a complex situation which requires understanding and time to heal.
How generous of you to share your story. I’ve known enough addicts in my lifetime to know it is so much more than willpower. There are so many different components to getting well and staying well. I look forward to reading more from you!
What lovely comments Nisha, thank you! Sharing, honesty and openness are vital to recovery whether you are the addict or family member.
Thank you for bringing greater awareness to addiction issues. It’s not about willpower or not buying it, for sure. Issues have to be freed up so you have a choice whether or not to drink. Great information!
Lisa thankyou! I agree! The choice to drink or use a drug comes in recovery and not when the person is in the grip of addiction.
It’s hard to understand someone’s situation when they have walked in that person’s shoes. What is important is not to blame the victim of abuse, of any kind, and try to think about how they got there and how they can be helped. What a great article, I am sure it took a lot of courage to write this, so bravo!
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Sherry! There is often so much focus on the damage done by the addict that the reason someone is using or drinking is overlooked. As you say, it is important not to blame the victim and to try to get behind their reason for their addiction. Every addict has one!
Thank you for sharing your story. It is not that simple and unfortunately addicted people can do little to help themselves, the outside and a good help is always needed. I lost two amazing friends and my mother due to addiction, so it is a very sensitive topic to me and this is why I feel so strong about my own ways and what keeps me so sober!
Solvita I’m so sorry that addiction caused the death of your mother and friends – it is truly tragic how alcoholism can kill those we love. But just as tragic is the secondary damage to family and friends whose lives are deeply affected too.
It’s great though that you have not followed in your mothers footsteps which is so often the case and clearly you have developed into a wonderful, caring person. That takes a lot of courage
Addiction is such a complicated thing. It is a lifelong battle and requires all the help and support you can get .I have witness the batlle of alcoholism (and other addictions) on both sides of my family. I consider myself blessed that I have never had a desire to even try alcohol–fueled in part I’m sure by seeing the adult members of my family and how it affected their lives. Reading your post reminds me how blessed I am really am and reminds me how I must be supportive for those not so fortunate.
Thank you for your wonderful comments Marie.
You have such compassion for those with addictions – if only everyone who had experience of addiction could be as understanding and supportive
Thank you for sharing your insights on addiction and once again, congrats on all the years of sobriety
Thank you Anita for all your encouragement and well done on your own achievements. Aren’t we the fortunate ones?:)
Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. If more people were as willing to share, maybe there wouldn’t be so many out there who feel lost and alone.
Helena thank you for your kinds words. One of the reasons I try to share so openly and honestly is because I know just how lonely and frightening it can be to be trying to quit an addiction. But most of all I want to share that there’s always hope and life can get better without drugs or alcohol.