Welcome to the real world! 08/06/12
Congratulations! You’ve given up drink and you’re committed to keeping it that way. You feel better than you have done for a long time and you have a renewed zest for life.
You might believe that you are able to take on anybody and anything. Beware! You will face new situations and challenges. People will disappoint you and let you down. The reality is that everybody has their own stresses in life and just because you are a recovering alcoholic doesn’t exempt you. Just like the rest of the world you will need to deal with pressures and hassles. And just like everyone else you will need a strategy or a plan to manage the tensions without resorting to drink.
Addiction is a selfish disease. I know that alcoholism made me self-centred to the extreme. I had no idea of the impact I was having on those that cared for me. It didn’t matter that my addiction was harming them. The focus of my world was alcohol. But recovery means that instead of looking at your own needs you have to connect with others. Make a decision to start putting something back into those relationships that you have taken from. Grow up and accept that: “It’s not all about you.”
Everyone feels raw and vulnerable at some points in their lives, but none more so than the newly recovering addict. The negativity of the past can leave you resentful and bitter. The fear of the future can cause panic and despair. Discovering who you are and how people see you can cause massive anxiety and apprehension.
The range of emotions that reveal themselves in sobriety can be overwhelming. Get help! Psychological cravings can be managed and after a while the buzz of real life can become more appealing and rewarding than any substance.
Take time to develop a gratitude attitude. Even if you feel that life can’t get much worse, it could. Someone somewhere is fighting for their life and would swop with you any day. Yet things can and will get better when you start to appreciate what you have today. If nothing else be thankful for your sobriety – for with it brings hope and a future.
Accept that your happiness is your responsibility. You have no control over anyone else, but you can control yourself. You are free from alcohol, free from addiction, free to live your life as the person you were meant to be.
Welcome to the real world!
bluetufty
After a 20 year battle with the booze I am now proud to be 13 years sober. Living life as I was meant to be and hoping to inspire others. Freelance writer originally from London now living in N.Ireland.
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26 Responses to this article
Your last full paragraph is SO remarkably powerful!
“Accept that your happiness is your responsibility. You have no control over anyone else, but you can control yourself. You are free from alcohol, free from addiction, free to live your life as the person you were meant to be.”
We get to choose quite a bit for ourselves, including our freedom!
Thank God for your sobriety and your encouragement to others!
Thank you Matthew! Without substances that cloud our thoughts and muddle our brains we have so much choice in our lives. It’s never easy overcoming any addiction, but the benefits are huge if you do. Freedom and happiness are just two of them!
I am ALWAYS impressed about your achievement Carolyn. I agree with Matthew that I like the fact that you challenge people to take their full responsibility over their own happiness and that people realize that we have been given the power to make quality choices.
Thank you for your kind comments Olga. I’m happy to challenge anyone with their addiction because I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to get sober and I know how hard it is to stay there. But once you are in recovery, you have many more choices. Even if you relapse, you still have the choice to try again.
I love how you point out that it is important to have an attitude of gratitude. I think that no matter what you are facing or going through in life an attitude of gratitude is so helpful. You have a great success story to share with others!
Thanks Sue. If we sit and think for a while we can come up with something to be grateful for. Today I’m very grateful for my sobriety!
You are a light in the darkness! I’m glad to hear you post about the commonality of feeling raw & vulnerable.
“Accept that your happiness is your responsibility.”-great point!
Thanks Jenny! Don’t we all feel vulnerable sometimes? It’s just another emotion that needs to be felt and then dealt with!
Nicely put Bluetufty.
Sending this one to my recovery page on Facebook.
Thank you James. I appreciate that!
Carolyn, this article applies to just anyone. We are responsible for our happiness. I’m reminded by Winston Churchill who said the price of greatness is responsibility.
Glad you can relate to it Claudia! That’s a great Churchill quote. Thanks!
Excellent article Carolyn
. Your words really do apply to so much in life – not just addiction. It is so true that we must claim 100% responsiblity for our own happiness and that is where we have the only real control in life!
Thanks for your comments Moira! It was such a ‘light bulb’ moment for me when I realised my own happiness was up to me!
Carolyn, your message is right on and I really like how you point out that addiction is a selfish disease…I agree… If people only knew the deep impact that their actions had on others, it would be a real wake up call. Great post!
Thanks Sherie. Unfortunately, by the time an addict realises that they are having an impact on someone a huge amount of damage has already been done.
After a long battle of alcohol Im free. Been sober for17 yrs. It took the power of God to set me free.
That’s fantastic Carrie!
Such a powerful message! Yes, WE are the biggest part of our own happiness. It must supercede ALL else, and we must do our best to not let ANYTHING block us from experiencing it. : )
Thanks you for your comment Steve. Once we realise that our happiness is in our own hands we become so much more proactive!
I’m with Matthew! The last paragraph is very profound. I’ve never had an addition but I learn so much about people who have by reading your blog. It makes me so much more sensitive to what they’re going through in that time of their life.
Thank you for your honesty as always.
Thank you for your kind comments Ron. Many people view addicts as very different from themselves but we all want to live our lives happily. For addicts its’ the substance that gets in the way.
Loved this article. Happiness is your own responsibility. It’s not up to someone else to make you happy, or for you to make someone happy. Too often it’s easy to get caught in the trap that we have control over someone’s emotions. We only have control over our own. Thanks!
It is easy to get caught up in blaming others, and I did that for a long time to justify my addiction. But once I realised I had no control over others, I had to accept that and take responsibility for myself.
Thank you for your comments Lisa!
Great article, Carolyn! It is so important to know that we are in control of our happiness and that it is an inside job. Gratitude is an essential component to maintaining that happiness. Thanks for sharing your Great wisdom and knowledge!